
A
Addiction: The hunger a Woman develops for Her cigarette. Can transform
the sweetest Maiden into a raging inferno of Feminine fury.
Ads, Cigarette: A vanished corpus of sacred literature, driven to
extinction by fanatic antis.
All-white: A non-cork tip cigarette, white from tip to butt.
Angel: A Woman who just doesn't look like a smoker, until She lights up
and sets your world on fire.
Anger, Righteous: The peculiar emotion a fetisher experiences upon
observation of a Woman persecuted for or proscribed from smoking.
Antis: People who hate smokers.
Anywhere: A nice place for a Woman to smoke.
Appetizer: A cigarette smoked before dinner.
Ash: (n) The spent residue from a Woman's cigarette, fit food for some
fetishers. (v) To flick or rub the ash from a cigarette.
Ashtray: (1) Where a Woman smoking indoors deposits Her ashes and
cigarette butts. (2) What good fetishers become in the next life.
B
Ballet: An extremely rare method of putting out a cigarette, wherein
the Lady steps firmly upon the cigarette and does a complete twist to
grind it out.
Barclay: A brand of cigarette reputedly without much taste but a
pioneer in glamorous ads.
Bastard, lucky: 1. A cigarette whose destiny is to fall into the hands
of a lovely Lady and be passionately smoked, then left with an eternal
lipstick memory upon his tarry tip. 2. A fetisher who pleases the gods
on any given day and so happens to repeatedly find his face in the way
of a Woman's smoke cloud.
Bathroom, Girl's: Where most Women learned to smoke. A sacred place
where mortal men fear to tread.
Breath: 1. The biological vehicle whereby a Woman satisfies Her
cigarette hunger. Delicious when shared.
C
Camel: A much-villified brand of cigarette.The right Woman can make it
sexy.
Car: A metal machine invented primarily for concentrating second-hand
smoke on behalf of passenger/driver fetishers.
Carbon monoxide: A combustion-produced gas that reputedly gives the
rosy flush to a smoker's cheeks. Wiser people know that She is blushing
because She is satisfying a delicious, almost sexual desire -- in public.
Cherry: The vernacular for the glowing tip of a Woman's cigarette,
particularly when it flares during Her draw. Some fetishers dream of
shrinking themselves down and incinerating themselves there.
Children: Short people who should not smoke.
Cigarette: Described by the late Oscar Wilde as a most exquisite little
pleasure -- a mere paper tube of dried tobacco leaves, yet a powerful
aphrodisiac, social ice-breaker and, when put into a Woman's lips, a
deadly weapon capable of turning a certain class of men into raving
lunatics.
Cigarillo: A little brown cigar, generally enjoyed by sexy senoritas.
See also: Some guys like...
Clouds: 1. Cigarette smoke spilling from a Woman's lips. 2. Where
fetishers hope to go when they die.
Cone: A very sexy method of exhale, self-explanatory.
Cork-tip: A cigarette tipped with a mottled-orange filter to mimic a
piece of cork. See also: Some guys like...
Cotinine: The breakdown by-product of nicotine found in a Woman's
urine. Some guys would probably pay for bottles of this stuff.
Counter-productive: The vast majority of anti-smoking ads and news
briefs, many of which have been happily collected by smoke fetishers.
Crush-proof purse pack: A formerly advertised feature of some Feminine
brands.
D
Deadly driver: A fetisher in traffic who has just spotted a fellow
driver smoking and is determined to keep her in sight.
Dessert: A cigarette after dinner.
Drag: Synonym for inhale. To puff on a cigarette.
Dunce: Also dork, dummy, doofus, dweeb, dirt-bag. A suitable epithet
for an anti.
E
Eve: A Feminine brand of cigarette, decorated with a flower drawing
upon its tip.
Exhale: The process whereby a Woman transfers the smoke that has just
circulated in Her lungs, back into the cold,cruel unworthy world. A
beautiful thing to see.
Exquisite: 1. The pleasure of a cigarette. 2. The pleasure of watching
a Woman smoke.
Extinguish: Fancy word for putting out a cigarette. A Woman may choose
several methods: Stepping upon the burning cigarette, preferably with a
bit of a twist of Her ankle; grinding it out with her fingers; throwing
it in a puddle (no way to treat a cigarette that has served You so
well!); or simply dropping it to burn out on its own, the most common
method now observed.
F
Female: Synonym for Woman. Woman is preferable unless you are teaching
a biology class.
Fetish: 1. The reason you are on this website. 2. An unexplainable
fascination with a Woman's smoking. Usually starts in childhood. Is
incurable.
Forbidden fruit: 1. Underage smokers. Avoid them. See also: Some guys
like... 2. A Woman smoking in a situation where the presence of a
fetisher might scare Her, such as an isolated bench on the side of the mall
or a solitary place in a park. Do not yield to this temptation.
French inhale. To allow smoke in one's mouth to partially escape and be
drawn in through the nose. See also: Some guys like...
G
Girl: A Woman under 18. Should not smoke. But, as Neil Diamond once
said, "Girl, You'll be a Woman soon..."
Glamour: The aura that smoking creates for Women. Deny it if you will,
antis. Reality wins every time.
Go away: What antis should do when irritated by smoke. Recommended
destinations: Prince Olav Coast, Antartica; St. Peter and Paul Rocks (two
rather tiny, desolate mid-Atlantic islands); the Rub al Khali desert in
Saudi Arabia; or any available mine field.
Goddess: 1. A Woman who is very aware of Her smoking power over men. 2.
Any real Woman who helps support the net smoking fetish community.
H
Habit: Synonym for addiction. What happens when a Woman befriends
nicotine.
Heaven: A place of eternal joy for good people. The following dialogue
may help illustrate:
CONDUCTOR: Excuse me sir. I realize your window is jammed shut and you
also no doubt value your privacy in this otherwise empty first class
passenger car on this train that travels forever. But 40 beautiful young
chain smoking Women from the University of South Florida were
mistakenly given tickets on the train and we have nowhere else to put them. I'm
sorry but you'll have to put up with their giggles, their perfume and
their constant smoking. You'll have to light their cigarettes, rub their
feet, dress them, brush their hair, satisfy their pleasures and share
your bed and bath with them. Forever.
PASSENGER: (A small squeak is heard, sounding something like, "Please
don't let me wake from this dream,all ye gods that be.")
Hell: A world bereft of Ladies smoking.
Her: Delicious personal pronoun indicating possession by a Woman, or,
indirectly, a Woman. Should always be capitalized to indicate respect.
I
Industrial smoker: A Woman who smokes without pleasure, some dull, poor
quality brand, failing to use any technique of interest, clenching the
cigarette between Her thumb and forefinger. A sad sight.
Inhale: When a cigarette kisses a Woman's lips, Her lungs draw in a
measure of smoke, Her nicotine need begins to be satiated and pleasure is
activated.
Inquisition: 1. Medieval religious tribunal set up to persecute and rob
innocent people. Recreated in this century to persecute and rob
innocent smokers.
Internet: That magical place where many a fetisher learned that "he
wasn't the only one."
J
Jean Nicot: The French guy who gave his name to nicotine.
Jewelry: What a cigarette becomes in the hands of a Woman, the perfect
accessory to any outfit, or no outfit.
K
Kangaroo. 1. A wild beast with a tendency to jump up and down. 2. A
good synonym for a rabid anti. 3. The kind of courts that persecute
smokers.
L
Last drag: When a Woman says farewell to Her cigarette. Can be almost
obscenely passionate when a long absence is anticipated, such as before
boarding a plane.
Light-up: The joyous moment when a Woman extricates a cigarette from
its hibernation in Her purse and prepares it to serve Her needs. In more
enlightened times, it provided many a Woman the chance to ask the man
of her dreams, "Got a light?" and many a man the chance to be Prince
Charming for one sizzling smoky moment.
Lipstick: The perfect accompaniment to a Woman's cigarette. May be
applied before, during or after smoking. Says forever upon the discarded
butt, "A Woman was here. And She smoked."
Lung-busting drag: When a Woman inhales so deeply and holds it in so
long, that one wonders if the captured smoke will ever be allowed egress.
Lungs: Marvels of evolution designed to allow Women to smoke.
Litter: Small bits of detritus that a Woman should have no qualms
leaving anywhere She damn well pleases. May include her cigarette, empty
pack, tissues, candy wrappers or soda can.
M
Mall: Formerly a good place to immerse oneself in the smoke of numerous
lovely Ladies. Now generally smoke-free, hence sterile, except for the
occasional smoker lingering outside the doors. Warning to fetishers:
Do not frighten the occasional mall worker who emerges from an isolated
side door for a smoke. See also: Forbidden fruit.
Marlboro: May be the world's most common cigarette. Originally designed
for Women.
Misty: A wonderful brand of slender, Feminine cigarettes.
Moment of Truth: Telling your significant other that you have a smoking
fetish.
More: Brown cigarettes. Reputed to have a difficult draw. See also:
Some guys like...
Mouth, a Woman's: A cigarette's natural habitat.
N
Nicotine: A Woman's best friend. Keeps the weight down and the pleasure
up.
Nostril Exhale: Self explanatory. See also: Some guys like...
O
O: That sexy little pucker that indicates: 1. A cigarette is about to
get a good, sexy kiss. 2. Inhaled smoke is about to emerge.
P
Pregnant smokers: Self-explanatory. See also: Some guys like.
Press-out: A delicate and lovely method of cigarette-extinguishing,
which should involve pretty pumps and long, sexy legs. The cigarette,
preferably an all-white, is dropped onto a relatively clean pavement or
floor and firmly but gently stepped on -- smothered, not ground out.
Puff: A dose of smoke. Should always be directed into the face of the
nearest fetisher.
Pumps, under: A beautiful way for a cigarette to die.
Purse: A handy Feminine accessory invented for carrying cigarettes.
Q
Quit: What every Woman should be encouraged to do if smoking loses its
joy or begins to impact Her health.
R
Rebel: A Woman who smokes pretty much anywhere She wants, with a good
bit of sassy attitude thrown in for good measure.
Ring, Smoke: The pinnacle of the smoker's technique, a most alluring
way to exhale.
Road Lust: Sparked by the sight of a slender Feminine arm extended from
a car window to ash Her cigarette. See: Dangerous Driver.
Rush: The lovely sensation a Woman experiences seven seconds after Her
initial puff of a cigarette.
S
Satin: The most glamorous cigarette ever invented, unfortunately now
rarely seen.
Screen Goddess: An actress who smokes on screen. Heavily persecuted
these days.
Second-hand Smoke: Nectar of the Goddesses.
Smoker's Hole: The half-lowered window of an auto that indicates a
smoker may be lurking inside.
Snap inhale: A form of open-mouthed inhale wherein the smoke is allowed
to partially escape Her mouth, then sucked back in and swallowed.
Some guys like: The hard edge of the fetish, exemplified by forced
smoking, pregnant smoking, severe lung damage and other odd and somewhat
disturbing elements.
Style: A Feminine brand of cigarette, now rarely seen.
T
Talking exhale: Self-explanatory.
Tar: Burned tobacco plant residue, which every fetisher dreams of
imbibing secondhand.
Teenagers: People who should not smoke, until they are 18.
Theophany: The vision of the perfect smoker.
Tongue: A tiny pink animal that lives in a Woman's mouth and has two
functions: to taste Her cigarette smoke; and to swim through the cottony
clouds and lick Her lips to signify pleasure.
U
Underage smokers: A taboo topic on most Internet boards. Tread
carefully.
V
Virginia Slims: A very feminine brand of cigarette whose ads and usage
probably fanned many a young fetisher's spark into a burning flame.
Virgin lungs: Lungs that have yet to savor smoke.
W
Winston: A rather odiferous brand of cigarette, not very Feminine, but
it did have a round of very sexy ads recently.
Wisp: A cute little curl of smoke.
Woman: A divine creature eminently worthy of worship.
X
X-rated: Some smoking sites. See: Some guys like...
Y
Yves St. Laurent: A stylish brand of cigarette that had its heyday in
the 80s.
Z
Zealot: 1. A rabid anti. 2. The kind of crazy fetisher who would put
together a dictionary like this.
